maybe the series could have had a little more diversity of image. Looking through your contacts I think that you may have some stronger shots, shots that also give more of an impression of the men, community and location. (Tutor feedback extract. For complete feedback see here).
My tutor’s comments on the potential for more diversity of image, giving more of an impression of the people and place were spot on. During the edit, I was perhaps subconsciously focusing on consistency of visual content (something I am learning to let go of, but not yet there). The example provided of Klaus Pichler’s work, Golden Days before they End, helped me to reflect upon this. Pichler uses ten images to tell the story of a traditional Austrian bar and the characters frequenting it. The work shows varied activities within the bar – there is only one of someone drinking (the obvious activity for a bar), with the other photos telling us about other things that happen in the bar. The variety makes compelling and varied viewing.
I revisited my edit, including shots not previously included, some suggested by my tutor for consideration (from the small contacts), and I worked to achieve a greater variety and broader narrative. I replaced seven of the original twelve photos in the final edit, which suggests a very different perspective on pulling together the choir series; just because bars are for drinking one shouldn’t focus only on the beer, or the individual portraits one is attracted to. It is how the whole story works that is important!
The final series is included in the submission for assessment here.
Klaus Pichler [website]. Golden Days. Available from: http://kpic.at/images/5244 [accessed 25.7.17]