My tutor’s feedback is here and it is this that prompts the rework. Specifically I wanted to create more depth in the work to provide great insight into my grandfather’s story. I have done this by creating a narrated video of the work, that includes additional images to those in the tutor submission, my own narration of the story to address the difficulties in reading the handwritten text in the letter extracts, and including a background sound track of the sound of water, which I recorded while at Scapa Flow. Finally, I made the decision to include a roll of the of the 833 dead. My intention is for the work to serve as a meditation on the effect of war on the ordinary man and also to serve as a memorial to the dead of HMS Royal Oak. I am hoping that it might one-day be featured in one of the Orkney museums, alongside my grandfather’s personal effects and have opened a dialogue on this.
The resulting slides are attached below. They were created in Adobe Premier Pro – it was my first experience of using this software and found it quite a learning curve to get up to speed with the technicalities. Also recording my own voice-over was not a familiar experience – I wanted to keep it low-key to reflect the subject matter and to avoid scripting it so the narration didn’t end up feeling stiff and formal. I believe I’ve largely succeeded but hope that having done it once, it will be quicker and easier next time around!
This video is hosted on my YouTube channel. Please open to full-screen and turn on sound before viewing.